Just because I didn't kill myself doesn't mean I didn't feel like I was dying

In the wake of Tyler Clementi's Suicide, I wanted to share a great article, then take a moment on my soapbox, before giving you a link with a petition- you can, and should, do something.

Just because I didn't kill myself, doesn't mean I didn't feel like I was dying

Something's got to change. I'm no longer even sure of what it is, whose attitude or what laws have to shift, because there's so much hurt and injustice coming from all sides. I've heard a lot of people talking about how these bullies will only be charged with violating privacy and not involuntary manslaughter, and it surprises me to realize that hearing that makes me angry. Bullying someone into taking their life should have consequences.

But a few minutes later, I turn around and see that not only is it apparently an acceptable practice in the state of Michigan, a man with the district attorney's office can cyber bully a college student, calling it free speech. And he's not even going to be fired.

I've known students who didn't kill themselves, but they were dying, bit by bit with every slur, sometimes to the point of cutting and para-suicide actions. It's not uncommon; it's so common it hurts. I've been the teacher who was reprimanded for daring to punish those who used the slurs, for calling it hate speech. The protectors can't protect, the students suffer, and we're all waiting on the world to change.

Something has to change. I believe in free speech, but isn't this level of bullying and harassment akin to yelling fire in a crowded theatre? If you're ready to call this enough, just to start to get to the point that we can say it's too much to be borne, then consider signing the Human Rights Campaign petition to the Secretary of Education, to toughen anti-bullying programs.

Happy Celebrate Bisexuality Day!!

Today I'm taking the opportunity today to share some great articles about bisexuality. Because even in the gay and lesbian community sometimes we're on the outside. And yes, I've had the argument with lesbian women before about bisexuality not existing- hello, here I am!! *waves* Nice to meet you. I exist. I'm not gay, I'm not straight, I'm bisexual.

First up, an article I really enjoyed not just for content, but because it was written by a former student of mine.

Bisexuality: The Punching-Bag Orientation

"Many people, straight or gay, understand gender preference with a Kinsey Scale mentality: a straight man likes women, a gay man likes men, and a bisexual man likes both. But bisexuality isn’t a gender preference for both genders; it’s a lack of gender preference for either. For most bisexuals, the gender of the person they find attractive is substantially less important than who that person is. We’re not in the middle of the Kinsey scale; we’re off the chart altogether."

And another great article I found thanks to GLADD and today's celebration:

Reflections on Bi Visibility and Coming Out

"As we heard from bisexual health expert Amy Andre, bisexual people have higher rates of suicidal ideation than gay or straight people. I have to think that the near constant onslaught of widely affirmed propaganda that we do not exist is a strong contributor to this."

Happy Celebrate Bisexuality Day! I hope it's an amazing day for you all!

With That, I'm Going To Get A Cupcake.

I have a pet peeve. Being sexy, using sex appeal, lipstick, stiletto heels, and slinky dress or whatever you feel sexy in? Not anti-feminist. Hell, I think it's downright feminist to embrace sex appeal. And here's why I'm dragging out my soapbox about it today:

A tweet today from Eureka show runner Amy Berg caught my attention today. She asserted: Looking forward to not watching Nikita. Not interested in entertainment that objectifies women under the guise of empowering them.

Without having seen the new version of Nikita, I was a little surprised. Sure, Nikita is being billed as sexy- no big surprise there, that's who she was in the original movie and the first TV show. But she's also smart, athletic, moral, and got herself out of an organization that controlled her and forced her into something she didn't support. Beyond the observation that she's a sexy woman, I'm not sure what Ms. Berg and a handful of other Syfy writers who have echoed the sentiment objections are. I may be wrong and Nikita will prove to be exploitative and objectionable, but I haven't heard an argument for why it is yet beyond Nikita having sex appeal.

"Eureka"'s brand of feminism suits me fine, but at the same time, I could fuss because it's a show that has never had a woman who wears over a size 6 onscreen. No room to talk about sex appeal with a gun-- season 1, Jo Lupo's garter gun was nothing but sheer sex appeal in the same vein as most spy shows like Nikita. And the Syfy network featured promos for "Caprica" with a nude 16 year old female character. Glass houses, stones, yada.

We're not talking about non-consensual, virtual rape as we saw with "Dollhouse" or even the original "Nikita"'s woman under the thumb of the company. I'll worry about smart capable women who also happen to be sexy and use their sex appeal like a weapon when A.) there aren't bigger battles to fight and B.) I object to it. I just don't. The playing field isn't level so why not use lipstick power, and sometimes, it's a hell of a lot of fun to be sexy. I play well as one of the guys (Hell, half the time, I'm one of the only woman on a crew!), and no, I don't mind if the teasing goes sexual around me. It's part and parcel of who I am.

I've never heard it better than when "The West Wing's" Ainsley Hayes took a swing at it during season 3. You can jump ahead to 3:17 to see just the scene I'm referring to, or watch the whole video to see all the relevant scenes from the episode:



And as the woman said, with that, I'm going to get a cupcake. I'll probably have another while I tune in to watch Nikita tomorrow night and judge the show's feminism or lack thereof for myself.